Posts tagged ‘rant’

December 24, 2010

This has to be fake.

by f

courtesy Postsecret Favorites via Flickr

Read: “I want an Arranged Marriage”.

No, you don’t.

No, you don’t want an arranged marriage.

(I understand it’s an emotional argument to make. I also understand that I can’t make blanket statements. I am going to violate every cardinal rule of argument or political correctness — you know, that convention that prevents us social anthropologists from saying that one tradition is inherently better than the other.)

The writer has chosen not to reveal her name. This is smart. She is clearly confused and her thoughts are badly organized. If she gave her real name, she would have been pilloried across the internet.

This story was a mishmash of disjointed orientalist stereotypes, and it should not have been run. I love the Frisky’s GirlTalk segments as a rule, but this is awful. I hope against hope that this doesn’t turn into a farce of Gilbert-style proportions.

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December 23, 2010

Jan Brewer’s Idea of a Happy Holi–CHRISTMAS, I MEANT CHRISTMAS!

by d

Art by Linda Eddy

Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona, infamous for legislating against “non-citizens” and denying organ transplants to people who were previously approved for them, wants to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. This image appeared on her Facebook page this past week.

I’m trying to figure out where my outrage should begin and where it should wrap up. I already had good cause to despise this woman, but she seems determined to not only continue to do wicked things, but to do them in the most public and ballsy fashion she can.

To recap: Jan Brewer became governor of Arizona after Obama selected then-governor Janet Napolitano to serve in his administration. Brewer made national headlines when she signed a law in April of 2010. Essentially, the law granted police the ability–nay, the obligation–to ask anyone, anytime, if they have paperwork proving they’re in this country legally. It’s clear this is directed at illegal immigrants of Hispanic origin, which Arizona has plenty of. Despite the public uproar, Brewer has remained unapologetic.

More recently, Brewer cut funding to a state program similar to Medicaid. Nearly 100 low income patients have now been denied vital organ transplants. Brewer has gone on record as calling these “Cadillac” surgeries.

So you see why Brewer is not my favorite person. Now she posts this image.

So lets just make a list of all the reasons Brewer is the last person to make my Christmas any cheerier.

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September 19, 2010

Complaint Hour: I Feel Like Crap.

by d
The Head Ache

Image via Wikipedia

I don’t know what my body thinks it’s about these days. I’ve been in a world of misery since Thursday, when the migraine began. It has lurked just out of focus, threatening to rear forth. The migraine itself isn’t terribly unusual, I often get one in conjunction with my period. What is unusual, nay, damning, is the way it is hovering for days on end. That alone makes me feel like shit.

I began to feel that I might have a sore throat coming on around the same time. Then one of the people in the office where I temp got a diagnosis of strep throat, so I have spent this weekend keeping a close watch on my symptoms. Sore throat, odd temperature (I NEVER get a fever, but I am getting heat waves), intermittant cough and post nasal drip, general ickiness, etc. By now I know it’s not strep, but whatever it is isn’t going away, either.

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September 6, 2010

Women Who Dislike Other Women

by d

© 2010 NBC Universal, Inc.

I have always felt an affinity for other girls, other women. When watching TV, I always sympathized with the lone girl on the team. I don’t know why, maybe it was just easier for me to identify with someone like me. I’ve never had many friends who were guys, and certainly ALL my close friends have all been female.

So it’s been difficult for me to understand women who don’t get along with other women. To me, it’s like saying, “I’m a fish, but I don’t like water.” I certainly don’t think anyone has an obligation to be friendly with anyone else based purely on something arbitrary like gender, but it still strikes me as very strange to reject your own kind.

On USA Network‘s Royal Pains, Dr. Emily Peck is such a woman. She is a concierge doctor, newly moved to the Hamptons, where the show is set. She is blond and attractive, she is good at her job, though I suspect she’s in it more for the money than wanting to help others.

From the moment she stepped on screen, both my mother and I have loathed her.

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August 19, 2010

In-Flight Entertainment

by d

This chick's got the right idea.

I love kids. I want to have kids of my own. For the most part, I understand them and forgive them their foibles.

But, kids are people, too. And people are assholes.

I’m on the plane out west, sitting next to two kids, brother and sister, traveling on their own. When I got on, they were all settled in with their blankets, looking a little forlorn. I was quite willing to be their in-flight attendant, lend a helping hand if they needed it. I’d seen their worried mom at the gate. I was supposed to get the window seat but the kids got there first, and, really, aisle is better.

When the little girl (who is small enough to curl up sideways in a seat) had her shoe-clad foot against my leg, I wrote it off. Too young to know better.

Then, apropos of nothing, she turns to me and looks right at me, like I am her official babysitter. “I’m thirsty,” she says, looking at me plaintively. Mom made sure they had snacks, but nothing to drink.

“That sucks,” I say sympathetically. (Oh, shit, what if I just says ‘sucks’ to a Mormon child?) “I’m sure once we take off the flight attendants will bring you something.”

A while later, “Will you buy us a snack?”

Will I what?

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August 10, 2010

A Fond Farewell to 18 Shithole St.

by f

18 Shithole St

Oh, 18 Shithole Street. I give you a fond farewell.

Yes, you stink like shit. No, really, you reek. You’re worse than a monkey’s backside. (Don’t ask me how I know that. It’s a disturbing story I’ll never be able to live down, and it involves a series of pranks I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.)

Your taps leak. The sound is drawn out torture. Particularly when W and I are having sex.

The smell of garbage never goes away even when we stay inside with the door closed. The neighbors pile it gleefully on the curb. Never-ending chicken dinners turn into rot in the hot sun, and then into leachate in the rain.

Your bathroom is always wet. It’s saturated with piss and shit and hard water. The mirror light is way harsh. I always look like warmed-over Death and a nasty date with a Silver Patron or five.

Don’t get me started on your kitchen. No matter what we do to it, W and I catch the centipedes. So many goddamn centipedes. In the sink. In the garbage. Scuttling across the floor. Running for the carob powder. (I absolutely don’t recommend carob powder.)

But I am sad. I’m sad to leave you.

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August 10, 2010

Woman seeking woman. Men need not apply/ August ’10

by feyruhan


Hello, male-species person.  Maybe I wasn’t clear on my profile.  I am looking for a girlfriend.  I am NOT LOOKING FOR A GUY–not for a relationship, friendship, pen-pal, casual sex partner, or anything.  You and your kind need to learn how to take a hint.  Yes I identify as bisexual and yes I even identified as such on my profile, but I also specified on my profile that I am looking for women–women who like women, who are single, who are near me, etc. etc.  YOU ARE NOT WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR.  No matter how great you may (or may not…) be, I AM STILL NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU, because I was very clear and you chose to ignore that for one or more of several reasons, which I speculate include, but are not limited to:

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August 4, 2010

Secret Life:

by d

Subterfuge chokes down two more episodes of The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Season three, episodes 8 (“The Sounds of Silence”) and 9 (“Chicken Little”).

Much like the show, this post is a giant dump of impetuousness. Read at your own peril.

For the first time in forever, Secret Life didn’t make me want to throw things. “The Sounds of Silence” had only one thing that annoyed me strongly enough for me to remember to write about it this week.

So, Adrian is having Ben’s baby. He accompanies her to her first OB/GYN appointment, with a doctor who specializes in teen pregnancies–this town must be putting something in the water.

“Wait, a male doctor?” Yes, Ben, a man will be taking care of all this. Ben’s mind sticks on this point, he makes a huge fuss about it.

The man who enters the room looks like this:

via ABCFamily

That’s the only remnant of the man I can find, which tells you something–no one cares. There’s nothing special about him, he looks like your average specialist, approaching middle age.

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August 3, 2010

Returning to Solitude, Age 24

by onelabrat

via Flickr user Fernando Ariotti


I realized that I have forgotten what it means to be alone.  And strangely enough, I have forgotten how to make a conversation with someone, without wanting to reach in and squeeze their intestines just to make sure they’re real.  This makes me feel creepy, which has led me to avoid people for the time being.

It has made parties and meeting new people extremely challenging. And it makes me feel extremely alone.

One time I was at a party and this woman was telling me about her non-profit something or other and she was very sweet and serious and said that she wanted to try something new but that you know, she needed a job and it was nice. I told her, “do you have any idea how replaceable you are?”  She didn’t seem to understand. “What do you mean, replaceable?”

I am like the gourmet eater who has turned to counting calories. I cannot seem to enjoy a single meal of conversation without analyzing its content, motivation, goals and after-effects. It is driving me crazy!  Do we all go through some phase like this, or am I just being ridiculously cynical and mental?

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July 18, 2010


by subterfusex

Listen, feminists, we get it. We’re being oppressed.

(‘elp, ‘elp, I’m bein’ oppressed!)

So many horrible things happen to women worldwide. The scale and the severity of such awfulness should astound each and every one of us whenever we discuss it. That outrage is motivation for us to do something better for us and our sisters everywhere.

But sometimes, we have to take a break. Get up, have a glass of water, go to the movies, hang out with friends, and stop worrying about the patriarchy.

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