Posts tagged ‘gender roles’

January 31, 2011

My (Not So) Secret Crush on Hugh Jackman’s Chest/ Jan 2011

by feyruhan
Hugh Jackman

Image by Barbara.Doduk via Flickr

I like a man who isn’t afraid of his chest hair.

Okay, so this is not the most forward (make that forward-thinking) thing I will ever say, but it’s true.  I like a man with a sprinkling of short, dark, curly, man-smelly hair on his chest.  My gal-pals and I have exchanged thoughts on this briefly, and they strongly prefer the hairless chest.  In fact, my friend C has mocked me for getting silly at the sight of chest hair peaking from an actor’s shirt (because, you know, God forbid I should acknowledge my weakness in public).

Hugh Jackman is an excellent example.  But then, he is an excellent example, period, no matter what, if anything, is the topic of discussion.

Visually, he can pull off rough and rugged (any and all of the X Men flicks, but especially X Men Origins: Wolverine, where he wears flannel–“Lesbian lingerie”, as (The Delicious) Brian Kinney of QAF puts it (oh, don’t start complaining about the merits, or lack-there-of, of those films; that’s for another, less hormone-crazed, man-hungry post, don’tcha think?)) , refined and flustered (Kate and Leopold, as the delicious Duke of Albany), and daily casual.  If you’re unsure as to which is my favorite, scroll up and re-read the first sentence.

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October 4, 2010

Romancing a Feminist or Romancing Your Ego (part 3)

by V


via Flickr

I’m back for the third installment of Romancing a Feminist or Romancing Your Ego. I hope you’ve had fun  thusfar! As always, I’ll put the link to the appropriate TTH page below before starting my commentary on some more of the feedback this post received.

The reader adds:
I know that women do not put too much thought into their politics, and being liberal in this age is a reflection of practically nothing. I’d be much more concerned if, say, she were an avid user of Twitter, or ever wears sweatpants. An artful courtier eludes discussion of politics with women.

One girl would affectionately put her hand over my mouth when I’d muse about politics, and tell how she liked me less when I would say, criticize homosexuals. I would smirk, and go on to something else. It’s a little needy to want a woman to agree with you on every point, and frankly unnecessary.

I recommend the book Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. Aside from some coverage of Tantric sex methods, it has a very good discussion of the sexes, and of how a man is to behave in a relationship and in life.

This reader’s ignorance shines through from the first sentence. Women don’t put much thought into their politics? You mean to tell me that he has met every single woman in the world, or even just a majority of them, and come to this conclusion? He has simply decided that women are intellectually inferior and flighty beings by nature. Therefore, it would stand to reason that they don’t put much thought into anything, including their politics.

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September 21, 2010

Romancing a Feminist or Romancing Your Ego Part 2

by V

via Flickr

Okay, I’m back for more commentary on this ongoing nonsense from TTH. Today, I’m going to begin tackling the comment section. For convenience, I shall put the parent link right here, right now, so that you can easily get to it to read the actual post and some of the comments for yourself. I will be tackling them in order.

Drina writes:

Assuming that Jack W. shows through his manner and actions that he is a traditional man, isn’t it a wonder that liberal women are attracted to him? Isn’t there something telling in the fact that these young feminists are attracted to a man who presumably takes pride in being a man and asserts his authority? I suppose you could flip that around, and wonder why he is attracted to them. But it seems that he is attracted to their femininity, much of which they still retain, though they hold liberal ideas. I am guessing that they, on the other hand, are attracted to his manliness, even though that is the very thing their liberal ideas hold in disdain. Regardless, it seems that he is on the right track in hoping that a traditional way of life will win in the end because it is a good way to live. Similarly, Christians are exhorted to preach often, and use words when necessary.

Let’s look at this commentator’s first few sentences. She is implying that feminist/liberal women all secretly long for the love of, and a relationship with, a traditional man. As she states, you can easily flip this argument and put it around to wonder why the traditional man is attracted to the feminist/liberal female. And, I certainly would if someone put such a nonsensical observation to me. However, she makes some observations that don’t really make a whole lot of sense.

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September 20, 2010

Psychological Aspects of Human Sexuality, Class Reflection

by feyruhan
Sexuality confusion

Image via Wikipedia

I expected a woman.  As a professor, that is, for my Psychological Aspects of Human Sexuality class.  My friend, who had taken the class at another college, a large university in fact, had told me exciting tales of learning and enlightenment and surprise, in which the professor was a grandmother who brought the text’s author’s twelve-year-old daughter to class once as part of an oral presentation.

I expected a proud, upfront, female professor who would tell us that we were about to embark on a wonderful journey that some of us may not be interested in, because we were studying the psychological aspects of human sexuality–not anatomy, nor the Kama Sutra.  A few students would leave, and we’d get going.

To be excessively blunt, I expected a white woman—a white woman would have had the socially-granted lee-way to explore and express a curiosity and openness about human sexuality that, I thought, a non-Caucasian woman, or moreover, a non-Caucasian man, would (unfortunately) not be so easily granted.  As it turns out, socially-granted permission be damned.  This professor may actually feel strongly enough about his beliefs about the importance of understanding the psychological aspects of human sexuality to openly explore, express, and teach about it—regardless of or in deliberate opposition to rules and guidelines that (I assume, possibly incorrectly, based on his skin tone and accent) he was raised to follow.  I think I’m going to like this professor.

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July 13, 2010

Secret Life: She didn’t go thattaway.

by d

"It's NOT Ricky's baby? Are you sure? You can tell me, I already know he gets around."

Subterfuge reviews the ongoing saga of teen pregnancies that is ABC Family‘s The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Season 3, episode 6, “She Went That A’way.”

Adrian’s gonna do it! She’s going to the clinic! She’s in the waiting room! She–she’s crying, and talking to someone.

Well, fuck. ABC Family has pussied out again, because Adrian has a big heart (so said Grace). Adrian’s decision to go through with the pregnancy is surprising, but it’s the way she behaves after making the decision that is pissing me off.

Have the baby, ok. But WHAT HAPPENED TO ADOPTION?! This girl wants to go to law school!

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July 13, 2010

She’s not a slut if she didn’t want to do it… at first.

by d

Oh darling, no, we mustn't! Not 'til you put a ring on it!

I was over at F’s earlier, and picked up a book I keep seeing around but haven’t yet bought. It was a romance by Judith McNaught, with one of those mild covers that doesn’t indicate anything vaguely erotic, unless you cought the castle thrusting up through the clouds. As I flipped the pages, my eye landed on tongues and other such things, and I found myself smack dab in the middle of a love scene. As we’re wont to do, I began reading it out loud in a melodramatic voice.

“What,” F demanded, “is so enjoyable about RAPE? All these love scenes are rapes!” (She has read the book.)

“Ah, but you see,” I explained, “it’s to avoid being a slut. She can’t want it. But if he rapes her and she enjoys it, then it’s ok, because she’s not a slut.”

F shook her head in disgust.

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July 10, 2010

Listen Here, Missy!

by d

Which is which? Statue depicting three generations of women in China. via Flickr user cmphotofocus.

As a writer, I pride myself on my knowledge and use of the English language. I appreciate its subtleties, and have learned how to play these notes like a good instrument. Imagine my surprise, then, when I came across a blog post inferring that the term “Ms.” is some kind of freak aberration invented by feminists to confuse us and undermine the social order!

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July 2, 2010

A healthy girl is a “normal” girl.

by d

Plenty of people have issues with the concept of ‘designer babies.’ Advances in medical technology may one day make it possible to select or splice gametes in a way that allows us to predetermine features of our children. There are plenty of horrific potential scenarios–a world full of blondes, everyone’s super-smart so no one’s smart anymore, the homogeneity…

But what if you could determine whether or not your child will be gay?

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July 2, 2010

Women are dogs, says woman.

by d

F is too upset to write about this coherently, so it falls to me. As mentioned, she often surfs the far side of the ideological pool. I don’t like to go there too often, and I’m reminded why every time something particularly egregious comes up and she passes it along.

Political thought is often depicted along a single line, left to right. This is an oversimplified diagram, as is “feminist vs. anti-feminist.” For instance, you can be a woman who thinks women should be meek helpmates, or you can be a man who thinks all women are worthless. On this, they agree:

Women are animals.

This goes well beyond my atheistic, scientific acknowledgement that humanity is just one of many animals on this planet. No, MarkyMark and Laura Grace Robbins believe that women should be treated like animals.

Robbins: The major theme that Cesar Millan tries to get across is that as a dog owner you need to show that you are the leader of the pack and that you want your dog to be in a “calm and submissive” state. Hmmmmm, sounds familiar, huh? Discussions from my post, Submitting Love, got me to thinking if only there was a ‘wife whisperer’ who could come in and teach husbands how to get a handle on their wives.

Mark: Thank you, Laura.  That’s great stuff!

Robbins has a post all about this Wife Whisperer concept. She literally takes a a WikiHow article called How to Control Your Dog’s Behavior By Becoming a Pack Leader and replaces ‘dog’ with ‘wife.’ Her comments are in parentheses. This results in phrases like:

Is your wife doing a behavior that you don’t approve of? Does she pull you around? Do you feel that you can’t control her? Is it hard to take items (pretty things) away from her without being bitten (not literally of course)?

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June 24, 2010

Marrying for Money

by f

Today, when I was browsing through The Frisky‘s archives I read the following article. It’s made me think seriously about women and money, I hope the ladies at BAL (and the four other people who read this blog) can help me out.

Jessica Wakefield — a Frisky contributor & the author of this piece — writes about her desire to marry a man for his money. Or, as she writes, “Bank accounts—and debts—do matter. And acknowledging that doesn’t make me a gold digger akin to Anna Nicole Smith—it makes me smart.”

Her post reacts to a book that I haven’t read. It’s called Smart Girls Marry Money. Based on the product description I’ve read on Amazon, I don’t want to read it. It looks like post-feminist shockumentary nonsense. If it were in my power to get rid of every book in the genre I would. I swear. But since I can’t, I just pretend these books don’t exist.

(So here I am, breaking my own cardinal rule. Yay.)

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