Why aren’t you reading Hark! A Vagrant? You should be!
Read: “I want an Arranged Marriage”.
No, you don’t.
No, you don’t want an arranged marriage.
(I understand it’s an emotional argument to make. I also understand that I can’t make blanket statements. I am going to violate every cardinal rule of argument or political correctness — you know, that convention that prevents us social anthropologists from saying that one tradition is inherently better than the other.)
The writer has chosen not to reveal her name. This is smart. She is clearly confused and her thoughts are badly organized. If she gave her real name, she would have been pilloried across the internet.
This story was a mishmash of disjointed orientalist stereotypes, and it should not have been run. I love the Frisky’s GirlTalk segments as a rule, but this is awful. I hope against hope that this doesn’t turn into a farce of Gilbert-style proportions.
This is the third part of Alissa’s interview. In this segment, we discuss the larger context of her work, and how it relates to the mission of our site. We asked her questions pertaining to gender and personal artistic decisions. She answered us — as always — very honestly. As we wind down this interview, we’d like to thank Alissa once again for her participation and for the chance to talk about her amazing work.
What does “feminism” mean for you, and would you consider yourself a feminist?
Overall, I do believe in what feminism stands for. Everyone wants equal rights. I think feminism has gotten a bad rap, really; growing up the first thing I thought of when I thought of a “feminist” were the extremists who burned bras and were avid “man haters”.
I thought about this on my own, but it seems that others have spoken about it.
Boyfriend and Girlfriend.
This morning, I read a piece about Oprah. In the caption, it mentioned that her “boyfriend” Steadman sat in the background, watching the festivities.
The man was at least fifty. How on Earth do we get off calling a fifty year old man a “boy” anything? I am uncomfortable calling W my “boyfriend”. He’s no boy. He’s an almost-thirty-year-old man!
It agitates me, but I can’t find a real alternative. “Significant Other” is too clinical — and “partner” sounds ridiculous unless one is forced to use it to hide sexual orientation.
What do you think?
This isn’t all I’m going to write about the odd ways we refer to our significant others, but I think it’s a good place to start. I want something that will spark a discussion.
Now that Subterfuge has been going on, we’ve realized something — we have a dearth of personal sex confessions.
When F started Subterfuge, she intended to write a lot of these sexual confessions on Subterfuge, passionately discussing what would probably be politely dismissed as TMI elsewhere. Though we do have insightful critical commentary on a lot of issues, we find that we’d like to have a focus on personal sexual confessions and experiences as well.
What do you, dear readers, suggest we should do? Any ideas on possible topics, suggestions? Any experiences you’d like to submit? We’ll leave it open and with a commitment that we will promise to write more dirt. We need more dirty sexy stuff, and I’m not talking about Megan McCain’s somewhat awful political memoir, either.
Okay, I’m back for more commentary on this ongoing nonsense from TTH. Today, I’m going to begin tackling the comment section. For convenience, I shall put the parent link right here, right now, so that you can easily get to it to read the actual post and some of the comments for yourself. I will be tackling them in order.
Assuming that Jack W. shows through his manner and actions that he is a traditional man, isn’t it a wonder that liberal women are attracted to him? Isn’t there something telling in the fact that these young feminists are attracted to a man who presumably takes pride in being a man and asserts his authority? I suppose you could flip that around, and wonder why he is attracted to them. But it seems that he is attracted to their femininity, much of which they still retain, though they hold liberal ideas. I am guessing that they, on the other hand, are attracted to his manliness, even though that is the very thing their liberal ideas hold in disdain. Regardless, it seems that he is on the right track in hoping that a traditional way of life will win in the end because it is a good way to live. Similarly, Christians are exhorted to preach often, and use words when necessary.
Let’s look at this commentator’s first few sentences. She is implying that feminist/liberal women all secretly long for the love of, and a relationship with, a traditional man. As she states, you can easily flip this argument and put it around to wonder why the traditional man is attracted to the feminist/liberal female. And, I certainly would if someone put such a nonsensical observation to me. However, she makes some observations that don’t really make a whole lot of sense.
I posted Feministe’s commentary about the end of Cathy on the board because it resonated with me — I’ve been an on and off reader of the comic myself. I find Cathy frustrating and endearing at turns. Endearing, because she always seems to habitual sufferer of her own failures, a sad counterpart to the model of feminist success. Frustrating because her character was never allowed to develop into anything multi-dimensional. Her failures were never allowed to step out of their own limits, and these limits were defined by characters and cliches.
Ultimately, Cathy was an icon unto herself. She was the most honest female character in comics. One of the best things about her was that other female writers saw the challenge of making the Cathy stereotype richer and more honest about women.
Always the idea of a woman, but never a real woman. That’s what I feel about Cathy.
note: I posted this on Subrosa on April 10, 2008.
I visited the library today and found Taslima Nasrin’s Shodh sitting on the used book sale shelf. I bought it immediately. When I began to read it, the memories flooded back.
On August 10, 2007, I woke up to the news that Taslima Nasrin was assaulted at the launch of the Telugu translation of her novel Shodh. (It was published in the original Bengali in 1992,) I was staying not a mile from where the assault occurred and I read it fresh off the press that came along in with the milk.
I mention this because during Contemporary Europe today the class discussed Ayaan Hirsi Ali, the radlcal secularist Somali-Dutch politician. She’s also a perpetual refugee, bouncing around from one party to another, shrill but nevertheless dogged. Like any other politician, her motives are pretty tainted and stained, but her life and the threats on her person hurt to read. Recently, she came/left the US via the American Enterprise Institute, wrote a few pretty vitriolic books and papers and went back to Denmark.
Taslima Nasrin is different from Hirsi Ali in the sense that she’s never had political aspirations — it is worth noting activists are not necessarily good politicians. Unlike Hirsi Ali, who left when she was younger, Taslima was already employed as a government doctor. She became a gynecologist. Her initial experiences in feminism or straying away from what she saw as the “demons of her faith” was from constantly having to treat rapes of young girls.
Please welcome our newest contributor, MadamsBob, to Subterfuge!
When F asked me to submit a confession, I thought, “My life is f-ed up as it is. Who would be patient enough to read my confessions?” That was, of course, before the feminist in me kicked into high gear. All my life, I have been regarded as a woman and nothing more. Yes, I am a woman. I am a woman and an engineer. Lately, many (men) have found it very hard to wrap their minds around the fact.
A man, with whom I had recently been in contact with (for professional reasons) had the audacity to make an offhand remark about women and programming. Being a programmer and a woman, I gave him an angry retort. He then decided to play to my vanity. When he realized that was to no avail, he decided to leave me cutesy emails, which prompted me to alert the HR department. HR, however, would take at least a month to take action. I needed immediate gratification.