Posts tagged ‘excuses’

January 19, 2011

Slow Day

by f

Please excuse the slowness. Subterfuge will be back to its usual programming tomorrow.

In the meantime:

What we're working on at Subterfuge Labs

September 11, 2010

Back from India

by f

Last week I went to India for my grandfather’s funeral. The rites are still going on and will stop only on Wednesday, the thirteenth day after his death.

Now that I’m back I realize how acute my vertigo is. I’m dizzy because of the sudden lack of external stimulation.

I have so much to tell you all. I have learned nothing about the man I was supposed to mourn but I’ve learned a lot about many other things. I’ve learned about thwarted and colorful dreams. I’ve heard about one forbidden romance — and caught the other in the act. I learned some thrilling things about my family history. I am at my wits end with W’s sister and her wedding. A (female) pimp tried to pick me up without my knowing it.

I fell in love with a woman.

This and more coming up, one at a time.

For now, though, I’m too tired to talk. I got off the plane mere hours ago, and the idiot who sat in front of me had it in for my knees.

August 5, 2010

There’s nothing like emergency chocolate

by f

image from

When W gave me a slab of Emergency Chocolate today I knew that he understood. It was his way of letting me know that he knew who I was and that he loved me.

I have to admit — and I’m nothing if not brutally honest about my own faults, even if I’m sometimes unwilling to change them — that I fucked up majorly last night. When I say fucked up, I’m talking Drunk Viking with Rogue Axe.

Yesterday, I took stock of my life. My life is unpleasant, so it wasn’t something I enjoyed doing. And then I thought to myself, shit, I wish I could have a break from my life. A break. I need a break, I need a break.

Wouldn’t you want one? I can’t write anymore, which is how I (foolishly) planned on making a living. I’m not even writing on here. That’s just awful. I had an awesome portrait series planned, but each time I sit down in front of my grandmother’s life I feel unequal to the task. I’m paralyzed and at the same time unworthy to edit her.

Given that nobody in this economy is hiring — though I do get part time work here and there — it’s tough for me to be optimistic. I have to get out of this hellhole I live in, but there aren’t many opportunities. (I should post a list of things I’m “allowed” to and not allowed to do while living here. I’m 23 and that list is disgraceful.)

So when I called W late yesterday after he’d spent an entire day moving into new house in upstate NY, the first words I said to him on the phone were, “I need a break.”

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July 13, 2010

An Editor’s Excuse

by f

Yeah, lady. Do as the sign says.

Sorry, folks.

Yes, this is your absentee editor, and she’s excellent when it comes to making excuses.

So where have I been?

It’s been a quiet weekend of visiting old friends. Now that I’m home with my parents, it’s difficult to see anyone. I’m stuck in this house, in the middle of nowhere, with only my free college days to cling to.

Suddenly, now that my mother’s away, I’ve got this terrific freedom. I’m re-connecting with my best friend from college. I’m continuing to connect with my high school best friend who’s got an amazing apartment in a great location.

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