Posts tagged ‘ABC Family’

January 7, 2011

Pretty Little Liars: New Years Fireworks

by d

NOTE: Hard to keep a secret in a photo booth.

Subterfuge reviews ABC Family‘s Pretty Little Liars, complete with actresses too old to be high schoolers. Season 2, episode 1, “Moments Later.”

It’s back, and they started with a bang! Technically, last season ended with a bang, too–Hannah being hit by a car.

Here is what is relevant for our feminist readers:

1) Emily told her father she’s gay.

Her father, who has been on active duty for ages and just returned home a few weeks ago, could be a hard-line military man. He goes in to ask her what’s bothering her, thinking it’s to do with a boy who’s gotten himself into trouble. Because he won’t leave her alone, gotta protect his little girl, he can see that she’s afraid of something… she tells him. He sits down on her bed, clearly shocked, and the scene cuts.

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September 4, 2010

Secret Life: Teenagers Are Thick

by d

from ABC Family

Subterfuge continues to ogle the indulgent wreck that is Secret Life of the American Teenager.

I missed writing up the last episode or two. First because it actually didn’t upset me, and then because I was so relieved, I stopped caring. Heh. Funny how that works.

Honestly, I now get a feeling of dread every time I see the show pop up on my TiVo list. Oh god, I think, What vile lunacy are they going to inflict on me now? This is in sharp contrast from Season One, when the show was a guilty pleasure I made time to watch. I enjoyed the fantasy train wreck, though I can’t really pinpoint why. A good deal of it had to do with the lineup of characters. But then everyone started getting tangled up with EVERYONE else, and now it’s a genuine soap opera, with complete assholery going unpunished. (I’m look at you, Reuben.)

I also need to write something about the other ABC Family shows airing now. But before I get to that, here’s this one.

What I Didn’t Write About Last Time

I’m still kind of reeling from Grace’s mom calling oral sex “gateway sex.” “It’s sex that leads to other sex!” Hilarity. She’s right, but it’s a hilarious way to put it. I’m even more amused by how freaked out she looked.

Plus, Ben gave Adrian a sort of promise ring, supposedly a real gem stone the size of someone’s eye. You can be sure that this jewel will be pawned off at some point in the future to fund something important. Misunderstandings and betrayal will ensue.

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August 14, 2010

Secret Life: When did sanity show up to this party!?

by d

Subterfuge continues its ongoing monitoring of the train wreck that is The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Season 3, Episode 10: “My Girlfriend’s Back.”

HOLY SHIT ON A BRICK! STOP THE PRESSES!

I made it through a whole episode of Secret Life without wanting to smack the living sense into someone!!!!

It was just teenagers being idiot teenagers! No one was a truly terrible person! No one plumbed new depths of sexism or racism! It was actually–*gasp* sweet, and reassuring!

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August 4, 2010

Secret Life:

by d

Subterfuge chokes down two more episodes of The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Season three, episodes 8 (“The Sounds of Silence”) and 9 (“Chicken Little”).

Much like the show, this post is a giant dump of impetuousness. Read at your own peril.

For the first time in forever, Secret Life didn’t make me want to throw things. “The Sounds of Silence” had only one thing that annoyed me strongly enough for me to remember to write about it this week.

So, Adrian is having Ben’s baby. He accompanies her to her first OB/GYN appointment, with a doctor who specializes in teen pregnancies–this town must be putting something in the water.

“Wait, a male doctor?” Yes, Ben, a man will be taking care of all this. Ben’s mind sticks on this point, he makes a huge fuss about it.

The man who enters the room looks like this:

via ABCFamily

That’s the only remnant of the man I can find, which tells you something–no one cares. There’s nothing special about him, he looks like your average specialist, approaching middle age.

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July 20, 2010

Secret Life: The stupid makes my head hurt.

by d

Subterfuge reviews the ongoing saga of teen pregnancies that is ABC Family‘s The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Season 3, episode 7, “New York, New York.”

WHY, Secret Life, WHY are you doing this to me? Why am I still watching!? Because every episode ends with a question I want answered. So I sit through the rest of the garbage, get pissed, and am tantalized by the next tiny piece of the puzzle.

I’m going to TRY to see the season through. No promises. (If you would like to volunteer to blog about Secret Life for us, please, please speak up.)

Whew. Ok. Items of Note for this episode…

Adrian will cut off her nose to spite her ex-boyfriend

Attention, everyone! Attention! Yes, I’m having a baby. And I don’t care who knows about it or what you have to say about it. Oh, and it’s Ben’s.

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July 13, 2010

Pretty Little Liars: Reality biting who?

by d

We have chemistry. Get it?

Subterfuge reviewsABC Family‘s Pretty Little Liars, in all its designed-for-marketability guilty-pleasure-ness. Season 1, episode 6, “Reality Bites Me.”

For some reason my TiVo didn’t catch last week’s PLL, so I just watched it online. Two things stuck out.

1) Spencer’s dad’s country club still operates like it might have in the 1950s.

I spent a lot of nights watching Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie on Nick at Night, and a common theme was the Boss Is Coming To Dinner plot. Well, that same ‘Woman, perform in front of clients so I can get a promotion!’ attitude is still going strong.

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July 13, 2010

Secret Life: She didn’t go thattaway.

by d

"It's NOT Ricky's baby? Are you sure? You can tell me, I already know he gets around."

Subterfuge reviews the ongoing saga of teen pregnancies that is ABC Family‘s The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Season 3, episode 6, “She Went That A’way.”

Adrian’s gonna do it! She’s going to the clinic! She’s in the waiting room! She–she’s crying, and talking to someone.

Well, fuck. ABC Family has pussied out again, because Adrian has a big heart (so said Grace). Adrian’s decision to go through with the pregnancy is surprising, but it’s the way she behaves after making the decision that is pissing me off.

Have the baby, ok. But WHAT HAPPENED TO ADOPTION?! This girl wants to go to law school!

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July 12, 2010

Huge: Delving Deeper

by d

I really like the Y.

“SCREW BODY FASCISM,” reads the handmade sign by Will’s bed. She made it, at least partially, from clippings taken from a magazine. A magazine that belongs to another girl.

“Ok, it fell on my bed, and when I see propaganda that I know is destroying girls’ brains, it’s my duty as an angry feminist to destroy it.”

Will really, really doesn’t like this shit. Amber has her own pin-ups, which she calls “Thinspiration.” Will puts up Rubenesque beauties from classical art. “They’re fatspiration,” she says pointedly.

I think she’s being snarky about the ‘angry feminist’ part. I hope so. Because destroying someone else’s property does not reflect well on any kind of feminism.

HEAR YE, HEAR YE. We do not advocate the willful destruction of property, even if it is propaganda.

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July 6, 2010

Secret Life: Adrian, you are cleared for take-off. Please breathe deeply and count to one hundred.

by d

Adrian with Amy's son, John

Another week, another round of craptastic ABC Family programming! My TiVo’s already filling up.

So, Adrian is having the abortion tomorrow. Her father is still opposed, but he seems to have come to his senses by episode’s end. He’s no longer threatening to break the family up. Ben is still waffling about what his role in this should be. HIS father insists that he should go to the clinic. Adrian doesn’t want this (or says she doesn’t), but I know that if I were in her shoes I wouldn’t be keen on the idea, either. They weren’t dating, it was an idiotic one-off thing.

(Perhaps the show’s arguing that idiotic one-off things are how you make mistakes. Amy & Ricky? One time at bandcamp = baby. Mr. & Mrs. Juergens one-off divorce sex = baby. Adrian & Ben = baby. The only ones to escape this pattern are Grace and Jock Boy. But her dad died, so she got her comeuppance. Still waiting on his.)

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July 4, 2010

Pretty Little Liars – Inoffensive? How’d that happen?

by d

Forgive my delays, I have TiVo. I just watched episode 4, and I felt it was pretty mild. The tension was fairly low throughout, and nothing leapt out at me as blatantly bad. That makes this a great point write an intro to the series itself.

Billed as Desperate Housewives for teens, PLL was born in the marketing department, then shopped to writers and TV studios. I haven’t heard good things about the books, but the show seems to be taking off.

Like DH, PLL is set in a pretty little suburban town. Like DH, our primary characters were a group of five friends that has been cut down to four. We knew Mary Alice was dead–she shot her brain out. But no one ever found Allison’s body, she just  went missing. Now, a year after her disappearance, her four remaining friends are getting mysterious–and dangerous–messages from someone who signs themselves as “A” and knows secrets only Allison could know. A appears to be stalking them–creepily appropriate messages are delivered at just the right moment, mere minutes, or even seconds, after things take place. It begins with text messages, then branches out to letter, radio dedications, items left in strange places, and, at the end of tonight’s episode, a message on a mirror in Allison’s favorite lipstick.

Each girl has her own terrible secret going. If her friends know, she doesn’t want anyone else to.

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