The Secret Mommies Don’t Talk About

by d

from MaijasMommyMoments

After my 10 pound Peanut was removed from my knowledge-rich womb, no longer afforded the luxury of time to read and surf, having no mother to ask my first-time-mom questions, and not having a single mommy friend to bounce my thoughts off of, I kid you not, the bulk of my “how to take care of baby” advice came in the doctor’s office waiting room, surrounded by other mothers and their babies. What none of these women warned me of, what not a single website or chat room ever spoke of, and even the “Do not read unless you have to!” section of What to Expect While You’re Expecting made NO mention of, was the irreversible deformation that was about to have its way with my tight, unblemished, tiny-tattooed, pre-pregnancy belly. Heads are nodding everywhere right now. Yes, I’m going to say it. The most unexpected and never talked about consequence to housing my 10 pound Peanut girl? The flap. The pouch. The front ass. The mommy apron. Call it what you will.

Maija’s Mommy Moments is running a week-long series about a woman, a mother of two, who is having a tummy tuck after seven years of… the dreaded FLAP. As guest blogger Lacey explains, the FLAP is not made of fat, it’s distended skin. Losing weight actually makes it sag more, fat buoys it into a rounder shape.

Her series begins by explaining her reasons and the preparation, and will culminate in post-op thoughts.

It seems that there’s always something for women to loathe about themselves. And there’s always a secret to hide. Lacey may be going through with plastic surgery, but she isn’t going to tell all and sundry. What will people assume about her?

And, really, why don’t mothers talk more openly about the changes that happen to their bodies? Somehow it’s okay to talk about the swelling of the breasts, as something good, but women just want to forget that after breastfeeding they will deflate and sag.

It’s a sad state of affairs. Maija describes it as a “wish [that] the sheer joy of having children that they adore did not come at the price of our bodies.”

Of course, we then have to ask, who is defining what is good and bad for our bodies? Why do we feel so awful when our bodies go through completely normal transitions, like the bodies of millions of other women? I know that I’ve thought to myself, in that someday-maybe way, that I would consider a breast reduction when I’m done having babies. The women in my family have mammoth mammaries, and mine are unwieldy enough now, pre-conception.

The series is a fascinating read, written by a woman who comes across as fearless, self-deprecating, and fed-up. She’s doing it, she’s happy, and she’s going to tell us about it.

Read the whole series using the Tummy Tuck tag:

One Comment to “The Secret Mommies Don’t Talk About”

  1. That’s a good question. Actually, though, you don’t have to be pregnant to go through any of this. I am going through it, as well, all of it, because I was so heavy and then lost weight so fast. I have stretch marks, I have extra skin, I have sagging pouches on my breasts and stomach, I have flabby arms, and oddly shaped thighs. And I won’t even be 25 until this December. When I lean forward one of my breasts looks as if it has a hole inside of it, because of how well it shows the loss of fat in one area. You can’t really tell when I have clothes on, but I can tell when I take my clothes off. And its irritating. Its not that I think that I should be perfect. Its mostly that I think in my mid-20s and without having been pregnant I really shouldn’t have to worry about these issues, yet. Still, surgery is far too drastic for me to consider. But, that’s just me. And, its true that I don’t talk about it that often, but unlike mothers I don’t have a circle of people who would certainly know what I’m talking about and would like to share such experiences. :p I figure it falls under the, “TMI, V, why are you talking about this all of a sudden, I don’t care about your boobs!” type of topic. :p However, I think I’m kind of an odd duck because when it comes to actually thinking about aging or dying, I’m not bothered. Which seems to be odd in the face of me worrying about extra skin, sagging, and stretch marks. :p

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