by subterfusex

Listen, feminists, we get it. We’re being oppressed.

(‘elp, ‘elp, I’m bein’ oppressed!)

So many horrible things happen to women worldwide. The scale and the severity of such awfulness should astound each and every one of us whenever we discuss it. That outrage is motivation for us to do something better for us and our sisters everywhere.

But sometimes, we have to take a break. Get up, have a glass of water, go to the movies, hang out with friends, and stop worrying about the patriarchy.

Seriously. Get off your high horse and have some fun. There is still fun in the world. Sometimes, it’s even at the expense of the patriarchy. Or other women. Sometimes that’s not terrible. In fact, it’s very important that we be able to laugh at ourselves and each other. Humor is a balm for the soul.

If we lose the ability to enjoy ourselves, we lose sight of what we’re fighting for when we’re trying to help promote social justice. The world is going to same, regardless of how tense or anxious we are. In other words, actions are what matters, not words.

In fact, constantly spewing venom or screaming in disenfranchisement dilutes the power of grievances in general. We get tuned out. Nobody wants to listen to what we have to say anymore. The number of women who want to identify themselves as feminists plunges and the public no longer considers us useful.

In short, no one wants to join a pity party.

Ultimately, we are fighting for the right to enjoy our lives, as we see fit. If you stop taking joy in your life, if you spend all your time railing against the system, then the system has won. It has warped your priorities and turned you into someone bitter.

We cannot allow this to happen. We must smile even in the face of hardship. Every time we dissolve into laughter or make love, we are thumbing our noses at a system that wants to control us.

We have seen laughter in the oddest places, in the poorest places, in the least friendly places. Where does it come from? And why are those people happy when we are not? It’s because we’ve lost that capacity, and we’ve lost it because we are so hard on ourselves.

Are we really still angry at the patriarchy, or are we angry at ourselves for not doing more? Either way, progress doesn’t happen unless we stop preaching and start actually working for change.

You might say that we aren’t do much, ourselves. What can we really do with a blog?

Our mission is to give women a space to speak freely about issues they have trouble expressing elsewhere. We feel the power of this, and so do the people who have come by to read, and decided to write. It is a small thing, one person at a time, but it is helping women to find their voices. It brings them closer to taking physical action.

We started Subterfuge because we were feeling the lack of action. In college, D and F both worked in groups that helped raise money and awareness for womens and public health issues. Ultimately, we’d like to do that again, when we have the resources.

We hope Subterfuge gives us those resources and that this blog becomes a public service of its own. And, frankly, this blog gives us such joy that we forget to be outraged. Sometimes we feel guilty that we have the audacity not to be outraged. But we shouldn’t be. And we should stop the rage. Stop saturating your posts with anger. Stop taking it out on others. We know, we know it’s awful.

But take a deep breath. Relax.

It’s all right.

We swear.


One Comment to “STOP BEING ANGRY”

  1. This is very true. If all we make ourselves out to be is the stereotypical nagging women, people begin to believe that stereotype and women want to get away from it. And who can blame them? Women have enough stereotypes to contend with as it is. :p A movement can’t do much moving if nobody wants to be part of it.

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